The other incident
Amelia poses with her daughter Vanessa, circa 1980s. (Courtesy: Amelia and Joe Mcgregor)
Story told by Amelia McGregor
After our daughter died, I wasn’t okay.
When one of our other daughters - our youngest one - started kindergarten, I would bring her to school.
On our way home in the car, I was daydreaming, it wasn’t even me that was driving. I was just on autopilot.
And I was thinking, when we get home, I’m gonna bring her to my mother-in-law’s next door. I’m gonna ask if she can watch her. And then I’m gonna come home, and I’m gonna take pills, and I’m gonna sleep. So, when they come back from school, I’ll already be gone.
On our way back home, the radio was on. It was like a talk show.
She kept asking me, “What does that mean?”
It’s like she was trying to slap me awake, because she was touching my arm while I was driving.
I said, “What? What is it?”
She was sitting next to me. Her feet weren’t even dangling, that’s how small she was, five years old.
She turns around and she says to me, “That man is talking on the radio. And he said that this lady, she committed suicide. What does that mean?”
A full and busy house for the McGregor's as they celebrate a birthday. (Courtesy: Amelia and Joe McGregor)
And I said to myself, “Oh my God, no.”
I said, “It means the lady killed herself.”
She said, “How?”
I said, “I don’t know. All I know is that’s what suicide means, that the lady killed herself.”
She said, “But why?”
I said, “Maybe she was sad about something. Or maybe something happened to her.”
I was trying to make it as simple as possible without going into real detail, because I didn’t know either. She’s just telling me the word.
I said, “I really don’t know why she would do that, but she was sad about something.”
“Well, that lady is selfish.”
She was talking to me like a grownup.
I said, “What do you mean, she’s selfish?”
She said, “Well, that man said that the lady had some kids. So, what about her kids? What’s
gonna happen to them?”
Holy mackerel, she threw cool water in my face. She said it so easily.
And I said to myself, “Oh my God. Is she psychic or something? She knew what I was gonna do when we got home? Is that what she’s gonna think of me? That I was selfish because I didn’t wanna be here to watch them grow up?
That was it. That was the end of that one.
KANIEN’KÉHA VERSION
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KANIEN’KÉHA VERSION ↓
Ó:ia' tsi niiawèn:'en
Joe and Amelia Mcgregor posing with their granddaughters. (Courtesy: Amelia and Joe Mcgregor)
Amelia McGregor IAKOKÁ:RATON
Ohnà:ken sha'ontóhetste' iakhiièn:'a, iah skén:nen tekanonhtonniónhehkwe'.
Tseià:ta iakhiièn:'a - néne onkeni'nisóhkwa' - shontaiontáhsawen' aionterihwaienstà:na', tsi ionterihwaienstáhkhwa' shes enkhe'terónhna'.
Sha'tontaionkenenonhátie' ka'seréhtakon, kheh thiewén:te' wakatetshen'hátie', kwah iah ki' nì:'i tekatorihátie'. Tia'tà:ke se' ken tioniarotáhrhon.
Ok kanonhtonniónhehkwe', nó:nen entsákenewe', ontiaríha tsi teiakwanonhsané:ken ienkheia'ténhawe'. Kheri'wanontonnì:re' tóka' ken' enwá:ton' eniontatenòn:na'. Eh thó:ne tentkahtén:ti', enkatenekwanéhkwane', sok enwakità:wha'. Né: ki' nó:nen enshón:newe', ok nà:'a enwakahténtion.
Sha'tontaiontiahtentionhátie', iotáhrhon ne waterennótha'. Tsi ní:ioht néne owerà:ke tehatihtháhrha'.
Saionkeri'wanontonnión:hahse', "Oh nahò:ten' né: kén:ton thí:ken?"
Kwah néne tóka' ionte'niéntha' aionkwahranonhsáia'ke' naióntiehte', né: tsi ia'onkenéntsha' tsi nikarì:wes katorihátie'.
"Wa'kì:ron', "Nahò:ten'? Nahò:ten' tesatonhontsó:ni?"
Teiatianitskwané:ken. Akwé:kon ne iah tha'teiakohsi'ten'tónnion tsi niió:re tsi ken' niiakà:'a, wísk sha'teiakaohseriià:kon.
Wa'tiontkahrhaté:ni' tánon' wa'onkeri'wanón:tonhse', wa'ì:ron', "Thí:ken rón:kwe owerà:ke thóhthare'. Wahèn:ron' kí:ken iakón:kwe, wa'ontatáhsehte'. Oh nahò:ten' né: kén:ton?"
Wa'katathró:ri', "Ó: sewenníio, iah."
Wa'kì:ron', "Né: ki' kén:ton wa'ontatério'."
Wa'eri'wanón:ton', wa'ì:ron', "Oh ní:ioht?"
Tontakì:ron', "Iah tewakaterièn:tare'. Kwah ki' nek ne wakaterièn:tare' nahò:ten' kén:ton né: naiontatáhsehte', wa'ontatáhsehte' thí:ken iakón:kwe."
Saieri'wanón:ton', wa'ì:ron', "Nek tsi oh nontié:ren?"
Wa'kì:ron', "Tóka' nòn:wa ok nahò:ten' iako'nikonhraksà:tha'. Tóka' ni' ok na'akoià:tawen' tóka'."
Wa'kate'nién:ten' kwah watié:sen akhe'nikonhraientáhsten' tóhsa ki' orihwakwé:kon akathró:ri', né: tsi iah ni' nì:'i tewakaterièn:tarahkwe'. Kwah nek ki' owén:na' ionkhró:ri.
Wa'kì:ron', "Iah kwah tewakaterièn:tare' oh nontié:ren tho na'é:iere', nek tsi ok nahò:ten' ki' iako'nikonhraksà:tha."
"Akaonhà:'ak ki' iontatè:iahre' thí:ken iakón:kwe."
Ionkhtharaníhahkwe' tsi ní:ioht ne iakotehià:ron.
Wa'kì:ron', "Oh nahò:ten' tsí:ton, akaonhà:'ak iontatè:iahre'?""
Tonataia'ì:ron', "Thí:ken rón:kwe wahèn:ron' iakowí:raien' ki' thí:ken iakón:kwe. Ok né: nakoksa'ta'ó:kon? Oh nihotiia'tawénhsere'?"
Nió: wáhi, taierihwakwaríhsia'te'. Kwah watié:sen tsi ní:ioht tsi wa'ì:ron'.
Sok wa'katathró:ri', "Sewenníio. Ieié:kens ken tóka' ni' ken ok nahò:ten'? Iakoterièn:tarahkwe' ken oh nitierà:nene' nó:nen entsákenewe'? Tho ken ní:tsi enionkwanonhtonniónhwe'? Tsi ken akonhà:'ak katatè:iahre' ase'kén iah té:kehre' ken' akè:sheke' akheiaterò:roke' ronatehiahróntie'? Kwah tho.
Edited by: Simona Rosenfield, Local Journalism Initiative Reporter
Translation by: Sahawisó:ko’ Arquette